MC's note: I decided to give Battle of the Authors its own page. It just didn't deserve to be drowning in SPPf's Other Fanfiction section. The Battle of the Authors A one-shot by Oblivion0807 One day, there was a writer named "Commander Blizzard," and he wrote great stories. He wrote of a land called Hoenn, of mystery and the villainous Ardos. He was a great author of Pokemon fanfiction, though commonly overlooked. Nevertheless, his stories were powerful, as were his bodily gasses. But this story does not concern him. One of the two parties concerned by this story was Mastercougar, or simply "the Cougar," who was a comic author. Unlike Commander Blizzard, Mastercougar was both a credible writer and had a fair amount of readers. At the time of the beginning of our story, he was visiting the zone of Control-X. He was in Control-X because it had a unique ability: It got rid of any unwanted author materials almost instantaneously. Mastercougar had come into this dimension with a large amount of discarded material from his writing: plots with holes, character concepts, rotten jokes, you name it. Anything that wasn't the author itself would be gone until complex summoning was preformed to reobtain it. Little did he know, however, he was about to get himself into a situation he'd not easily forget. Now, at this time in which Mastercougar exited a wormhole in blue dimensi-space into the all-consuming wasteland of Control-X, another being entered the land carrying a multitude of text. This entity was currently in the form of a golden-scaled Charizard/Lugia hybrid, and had a light-blue aura surrounding him, giving him the impression that this was another author. Mastercougar, whose current form resembled a winged version of the pokemon Entei, had never run across this particular author before. Being in a mood to gloat to this author about his own prowress, Mastercougar let go of his materials and flew over to the other entity. "Hi, there," Mastercougar said suddenly. The dragon, having not seen Mastercougar at first, was rather startled and dropped all his materials, which promptly were sucked away. "I am Mastercougar. I am sure that you are aware of my comic genius," he said boastfully. The author simply turned around, fuming. Apparently, Mastercougar had made the wrong move here, which given his concietedness was a common mistake for him. "I really don't care who you are right now," the author said, quite aggrivated. "I was trying to sort that stuff out. I didn't want to lose it all." Mastercougar sighed. "It's not lost. You can still summon it back." Mastercougar demonstrated quickly by making the material reappear intact. "Open a portal back to your home dimension, I'll send it there and you can sort it later, before you get to the authors' trash can. The gold-scaled pokemon hybrid just stood, evidently wondering how such an idiot like Mastercougar could have done this. "I have written the large and well-written 'Reporterz' comic over at Serebii.net forums," Mastercougar boasted. "Comic authoring gives more power then the fanfiction sort." He paused for a moment, proud with himself, but obviously do to his pigheadedness got no response. "I've read that comic a bit, but it's not THAT good. In fact, the first episodes were absolutely awful. I honestly can't see why you're boasting, or how comics give more power than written literature," the dreagon-entity said calmly. This made Mastercougar furious, which made him look more ugly than usual, which is saying quite a bit. "Hey, my comics are almost as I am. Nobody's good at the start!" the ugly, unintelligent, pigheaded Mastercougar fumed, on the verge of yelling, "And could you shut that narrator up? He's getting on my nerves really fast now." "Oh, okay..." Oblivion said, a bit disgusted at his own narrator's behavior himself. And thus, though unwillingly, the narrator was forced to keep all negatice comments to himself. "and fanfiction is still better than comics any day, if you ask me." Mastercougar realized that he had, in fact, ignored this and remedied it quickly. "Maybe by your limited point of view, but in truth comics are way better than stories, sir..." "Oblivion, the Eight hundred and Seventh," the other author finished. "And they're really not. And I can prove it to you, and there's only one way..." "Of course!" Mastercougar said brightly. "A sudden-death round of Boggle!" Oblivion shot Mastercougar a quizzical look. "It is the sport of kings, after all," Mastercougar explained to him. Oblivion sighed. "What I have to put up with.... No, I was thinking more along the lines of a five-on-five pokemon-style battle. You will only use characters from comics and I shall be restricted to fanfiction characters." Mastercougar cracked a grin. "That works, too. Where shall we battle? Will white space do?" he asked, enthusiastic for a battle. He hadn't honestly had one for a good few weeks now. "Sounds good to me," Oblivion said, unaware of what the white space was exactly. Both authors were yanked out of Control-X and into a blue dimensi-protal. Both authors then proceeded to change into their human forms. Mastercougar was a boy of fourteen with shaggy brown hair, glasses and green eyes, wearing grey-blue pants that covered his shoes and a blue long-sleeved shirt. Oblivion changed into a boy fourteen years old with neat brown hair, slate-blue eyes framed by a pair of glasses wearing a green long-sleeved shirt, dark blue pants and a light green shirt. Both studied each other, and then came to the same comclusion. They yelled in unison, "Hey! You copied me!" They paused for a second, and then yelled (again together), "No I didn't, my form outside the computer!" The shouting match was followed by a moment of tension, after which both ignored this coincidence and summoned five Dimensiballs. Dimensiballs were pokeballesque structures that summoned characters designated by the Author using it when used. "Before we start, let's change scenery a bit," said Oblivion, the plain white annoying him. He snapped his fingers, and the area's background changed from the white zone to an absolutely huge arena, 500 feet long and 250 feet wide. It was suspended above the mouth of an active volcano in the middle of a vast stretch of desert, which seemed to go on as a stretch of sand forever except an occasional rock stucture and a city to the south-southeast about fifteen miles. Mastercougar whistled. "Nice place you thought up. What's it for?" he asked, now intrigued by the dazzling landscape created before him by the pure power of imagination. "Eh, it's an old desert planet. The story I was going to use it for got wiped, but I kept this bit just in case. "Eh, that's too bad for that bit of writing. But it's game time now, and WP's ready to fry 'em up! Go, Wisest Pikachu!" Mastercougar exclaimed, throwing a Dimensiball at the ground. On contact with the ground, the sphere broke open and released a mass of blue light. The light formed and congealed into a humanoid Pikachu with a wizard's hat. Oblivion groaned. "Your catchphrases are weak. Chaletwo, sic 'em!" he said. Out of his Dimensiball Oblivion summoned a pokemon that looked identical to a Mewtwo. The creature's eyes were closed, but they were most definitely glowing. Chaletwo looked at Mastercougar, then Wisest Pikachu through his closed eyelids. Chaletwo then turned around to face Chrom. "I will not partake in this as your servant," Chaletwo said simply. Oblivion, remembering now that Chaletwo was the guardian of life and would not attack any being, recalled the creature to its own dimension via the Dimensiballs. "That's one down, four to go!" Mastercougar said victoriously. Oblivion just snorted. "Zero, go!" Oblivion commanded, throwing out another Dimensiball. Out popped a teenager with a sword strapped to his back, looking fearsome and ready to fight, and yet cool and collected at the same time. "Chop that rat's hat in half!" Oblivion yelled. Zero did not say anything, but swiftly moved up to the anthro-Pikachu and sliced his wizard's hat neatly down the middle before a response could be made. While Zero returned to his side of the field, Wisest Pikachu slumped to the floor, powerless without his hat. Mastercougar returned him to his Dimensiball in silence. "Score's even now, Cougar," Oblivion declared in the same (rather annoying) tone that Mastercougar had used. "Go, Devil Guardian Gannon," he muttered, throwing another Dimensiball. Out came an elflike person with dark skin, wearing a black trenchcoat and with two demon wings. "Fry him," Mastercougar ordered simply. Gannon thrust his hands into the air and summoned forth a malestrom of lightning that formed a circle of electricity around Zero, and it was closing in. "Throw your sword, Zero!" Oblivion called. Zero chucked his sword through the lightning, but the high-voltage current was absorbed by the metal sword. As Devil Guardian Gannon's lightning hit Zero and knocked him into a coma, Zero's sword pierced into Devil Guardian Gonnon's chest, leaving him unfit to battle. The score was still even, and both authors were thinking of their next move. Oblivion yelled "Timaeus, go!" and threw a Dimensiball, and at the same time that Mastercougar said "Go, Link!" and threw his own. Both Dimensiballs hit the ground at the same time, forming a mess of light that resulted in an enormous black dragon and another elflike being, this one light-skinned and in a green tunic. Mastercougar was quicker with his commands this round, ordering Link to "Slice its head off!" before Oblivion could make a move. Link leaped for Timaeus' neck and drew a sword, but the dragon soared upwards and out of the way. Lacking the ablity to also hover in midair, Link fell down and broke a leg. "Din's Fire!" Mastercougar shouted. From the ground, Link summoned up a some magic and cast a ring of fire around Timaeus. The ring slowly closed in, giving Timaeus some rather severe burns. Defeated, the dragon pokemon fell down on top of Link and crushed him underneath. "Hey, how'd you figure it out so quickly?" Oblivion raged, recalling Timaeus. Mastercougar, genuinely confused, asked, "Figure what out?" as he recalled Link. Oblivion released a small bit of tension. "Status effects. They're all that can do any damage to Timaeus. Guess you got lucky." Mastercougar, distracted by this, fumbled for his next Dimensiball and released it, saying "Go, Protoman!" From the light of Mastercougar's Dimensiball materialized a humanlike robot with red and grey armor. Oblivion didn't even think before throwing his Dimensiball and calling out, "Houndeath, you're up!." An evil-looking three-headed black dog of great size materialized in front of Oblivion, snarling and breathing puffs of fire. Oblivion commanded "Flamethrower, Hyper Beam and Solarbeam!" Mastercougar countered with "Get on its back and charge a shot at the center head from there." Houndeath occupied all three heads with Protoman, but Protoman put up a shield. But no shield could last for long against three elemental attacks at once, and it soon gave way. Protoman had charged a shot all this time and was able to blow up the head using Flamethrower before being reduced to a smoking robotic hull. Oblivion had once again gained the lead. Mastercougar calmly recalled Protoman and released another Dimensiball, calling the name "Sila." Out came a girl with red hair, in dark red armor with two blaster-arms. Sila immediately changed into a Demon without warning and used an eye laser to decapitate the other two heads on the dog. Oblivion, now, too, on his last Dimensiball, called "Terraformer, attack!" and threw his last ball. Out from the ball came a robot of immense size (taking up half the field just standing) with eight legs in a spiderlike fasion and a long neck ending in a cockpit that ended in a head resembling that of a dragon. The authors met eyes and came to a silent agreement to not interfere and let the battle play out. As such, the both changed into their pokemonesque forms and flew up to get a better vantage point of the battle. The Demon flew up and around to the main of the Terraformer and landed on its main body, which was shaped somewhat like that of a Metagross. Sila charged up a beam at the back of the cockpit, but a multitude of missile launchers activated at various points on the Terraformer's main body and hit the Demon. Sila was reduced to a human form, at which point she sharged one more shot with each hand at the cockpit. Another round of misiles came, and Sila fired at the very last minute. Sila was defeated indefinitely, but at the same time the Terraformer's cockpit exploded upon impact with the blaster shot. The mechanoid crumpled down, breaking the chains holding one of the corners to the volcano. Both, however, were recalled before they could slide off into the magma below. Choose your ending here: Seminormal Ending Unsatisfied, Oblivion turned to Mastercougar. "Well, this ended out a tie. I say we battle it out for the tiebreaker." Mastercougar nodded in agreement with this idea. Both authors charged at each other, their auras surging. They collided, knocking each other back some fifty feet. They crashed again, this time creating a shockwave on impact. The third time, Oblivion flew downwards right before impact and threw a pulse of water at the winged Entei. Mastercougar dropped a few feet, but managed to catch himself. Oblivion took advantage of the mement with a flamethrower, knocking Mastercougar back a bit and creating visible damage this time. Mastercougar roared back, sending a collumn of electricity from his gaping mouth straight towards Oblivion. Oblivion coutered with his own Hyper Beam, but didn't get to full power in time to stop the attack. Because the full content of the battle would take up many pages, it shall not be chronicled fully here. We shal just say that a tremendous battle was waged in the skies, with no Author gaining the upper hand for a long while. Oblivion, when he was nearly wasted, grabbed Mastercougar by the neck and stopped trying to sustain himself in the air. Both plummeted to the ground, Oblivion focusing his last reserves on keeping Mastercougar in the headlock. Right before impact, Oblivion spread his wings and pulled up, slamming Mastercougar with his tail. As Oblivion collapsed into the sands, Mastercougar skidded across the desert and crashed into one of the sparse rock formations, knocking him out. Some time later, Oblivion awoke. His head felt like it hd been split open, he had been forced back into his human form, he was lying in his own blood and he felt like his whole body was on fire. But he was alive, and that was enough for him. Oblivion stood up, and wondered how Mastercougar ended up. Chrom followed a path of indents in the sand and splotches of blood that lead to Mastercougar's own whereabouts. When Oblivion found him, Mastercougar was in his human form, trying valiantly to stand up despite his wounds. Oblivion, finally feeling at peace with the author, helped Mastercougar get to his feet. "Alright, it's a tie," Mastercougar said decidingly. Oblivion nodded, glad just for the fact that Mastercougar was not going to continue the fight in their weakened states. Mastercougar continued, saying, "I'd say that fanfiction and comics are fairly equal. Anyway, I'm hosting a get-together for some authors this weekend. We're going to eat immense amounts of pizza and root beer while watching Monty Python. Would you like to come?" Mastercougar materialized a slip of paper with some coordinates on it and held it out to Oblivion, who almost immediately grabbed it. "Are you kidding? If there's root beer, I can't refuse." Mastercougar and Oblivion ran into each other many times after that, in various places. Be it in work, vacationing in other realms, or the regular author parties, they met up often and always enjoyed each other's company. Of course, they were always up for a bit of sport, no matter how much it would impede progress.... FIN Crazy Ending Oblivion turned to Mastercougar. "Looks like it's a tie. Now, what was our origional idea?" Mastercougar smiled. "Sudden death Boggle, of course. It is..." "Yes, yes, the sport of kings." Oblivion said, annoyed, and repaired the arena. Both flew down to the arena's innermost circle and sat down on chairs that had only recently appeared. Mastercougar summoned up a table, notepads, pencils, an hourglass and a boggle set. Both authors grabbed their pencils. Oblivion grabbed the hourglass and turned it upside-down. "And now... we play." comic_name*** is hosted on Comic Genesis, a free webhosting and site automation service for webcomics. I find it quite satisfactory. I owe a large part of the website design to Ping Teo of The Jaded. The 'Ocean Blue Indextemplate,' upon which my website is based, is free-use for all Keenspacers, courtesy of the Workshop. Finally, I'd like to state that all copyrighted material is owned by its creator, as this strip is merely a humble parody. See here. The creators of all these works have my utmost respect. ~Mastercougar